Will turns 35!

 Last week, Will turned 36! To think, last year we were enjoying a night away and I was in the middle of training for a trail marathon. Little did we know our whole world would turn upside down a month and some change later. 

We managed to get away for two hours to a steak house and I ordered him a rainbow cake. I also bought him a spin bike to compliment our home gym. 

(Micah licked sprinkles off the floor and table for a week.)

(I love how Madison is helping to get everyone posed as well.)

(Wearing actual clothes. The jeans are 2 sizes too big and dig into my waste, but hey, they buttoned. I keep reminding myself to be patient with my body, some days are harder than others.)

(Got home to a crying baby, but she slept for seven hours that night)

one month and two months

At one month Elliott had never been put down. She hopped from person to person but mostly stayed attached to me. With this being my fourth, I knew how fast each stage ends and I (mostly) enjoyed having the privilege of holding her. 

She loved being bounced on the exercise ball. 

She met both her grandparents, uncle Grant, aunt Erin, and cousin Archer this month. 

She ate every two hours during the day. She sometimes would go five hours at night. 

She started balding and lost almost all the hair she was born with. 

She had only one bath. 

Started having real smiles around 4 weeks and gave them out like candy at 6 weeks. 

At two months she weighs 11.4 lbs.

She can roll from her tummy to back. 

She is sleeping more in her room and can tolerate being put down. 

Has done several long stretches (7-8) hrs the first part of the night. I have learned not to get too excited, but I am slightly hopeful. 

She smiles and coos that melt our hearts. 

She eats every three hours during the day. 

She sometimes will take a pacifier but usually mouths it and then spits it out in disdain. 

She has gotten slightly better in the car. Luckily we do not go many places, but this is an improvement from her first month when she screamed until she sweat. 

She takes a bunch of cat naps during the day which is slightly annoying, but I know will work itself out eventually. 

She has not had an endless crying spell. She hardly ever cries and only when its time for food, sleep, or diaper change. Either she is our easiest baby or we have gotten better at parenting. 

We all love our little Elliott. Each sibling has taken their own unique interest in her. Madison enjoys more playing with her and talking. Eliza has taken on a full mothering mode, rocking her to sleep, heating up bottles, changing diapers, all the things. Micah sings her hush little baby if she is fussy, retrieves a pacifier, and will hold her for roughly 1/2 a second before he is all done. Never could have imagined this life and I am thankful for that. 

 

Elliott Knight

 On December 7, 2020 we welcomed another daughter, Elliott Knight. We are still not entirely sure how she made her way into existence when I got that positive pregnancy sign on March 31, 2020, about two weeks after COVID-19 made its way to the United States and everyone was forced into quarantine. I spent the first half of my pregnancy incredibly sick. We had to readjust every part of our life and it was a struggle to adapt. Then she surprised us again by coming 8 days late and by being a "she." We chose to keep everything about her a surprise and I was convinced we would be welcoming a son. It has been two months now and we are slowly adjusting to another new normal. Eliza always says in response to anything, "because you have seventeen kids...." I never imagined I would have four children but I am incredibly thankful for each of them and look forward to what a life growing together will look like. 

"Hello, it's me"

 I have decided, at least temporarily, to dust off the old blog. The last year I have had some convictions around Instagram. Especially when the girls are at an age when they can say, "Are you posting that to Instagram?" I am sure that when I was in fourth grade I would not have appreciated my photos being posted with out my consent. This platform is obviously still public, but I feel there is more of intention behind recording memories here that I miss. 

Since I last posted, we have accomplished quite a bit. I graduated from graduate school, I am a licensed therapist, I have a private practice, we bought and renovated a new home, Will has switched jobs, we have added two! more babies (Micah and Elliott), and we are living in a pandemic.  So here we go, lets see how long this lasts. 

a start to the new year

(picture not relevant to the post, but this is more accurate depiction of us)

When Will and I stayed in the hotel over Christmas, we spent the morning eating our room service breakfast and discussing goals for the upcoming year. One of the items I have been struggling with, is just how much work life takes. This past year, I just kept thinking we were simply surviving and when life would hit we would make a spur of the moment survival plan. We decided that this year would be a year we would attempt at planning better. We all know the, "best laid plans," phrase, but I do believe in a battle plan. 

Our battle plan focused on how we can better tend to our relationship, how we can better handle my school work load, and how we can better care for ourselves. 

As part of Will's Christmas present, I planned out 12 dates for 2015, one each month. We already had to reschedule the one this month because Will got a stomach bug, but the month is not over yet, there is still hope. Maybe we will even take selfies each date to fully document this relationship effort. 

We just hired a babysitter. We have taken out a loan to help pay out the remaining classes I have, so we decided a good use of that money would be to hire a babysitter. We had limited options and the woman we decided on has a rate that is practically criminal. Where was this pay when I was a nanny?? She is spanish speaking and tends to work with families who rely on her to raise their children. We will only have her for eight hours a week. This will allow me time to actually leave the house to study. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. She comes Monday for the first time. 

Will and I have always valued working out. However, with children it has been a little difficult to find the time. We both realized in order to find the time, we must make the time. I was getting used to working out during their nap time or taking them running, but with school and winter that is no longer an option. I joined a gym two blocks away and I am working on getting myself there before the girls wake up. I think volleyball try-outs in high school scarred me from my ability to wake up early and work out, but I know that this is something that requires discipline. Will is planning on working out in the garage during this time, so we can both complete our work outs by 7:30 am. 

I am hoping all of these decisions will create a more predictable schedule for our lives. We are also realizing how significant a schedule and predictability is for my sanity. With the stomach bug and various winter blues, this was the first morning we both worked out. Hopefully, next week will be a full week of taking steps towards these goals. 

hello

I feel I should explain why I have not blogged, but I think those two munchkins hold nearly every explanation. This blog has always been a place where I want to document our life. However, the actual living of life has taken precedent over any form of documentation.

We just came back from a week of visiting in Texas for Christmas. We were not able to see many of our friends, but the ones we did see, always ask, "How is life?" It is quite difficult for me to summarize exactly how our life has been since the last time we saw them. I usually say, good, or busy, or hard. All of which offer an answer, but give little insight into what our life is actually like. I think the lesson I have learned this past year is that our life is one that is spent constantly tending to the basics. Its as if the all the logistics of living have become heightened and consume us. Staying home with the girls gives me a deep awareness of how constant the need for nuritionment can be, every three hours they remind me. There are shirts to be buttoned, pants to be changed, socks to match, squabbles to regulate, letters to be taught, behaviors to discipline, faces to scrub, all of which happen before we have even left the realm of our home. Then there are the papers to write and counseling books to read. There are appointments for never ending coughs and difficult LASIK surgery recovery. There are heater repairmen, plumbers, and electricians to call. There is a mom and dad who need reminding that they are also husband and wife. 

The weight of having children actually presses heavier with time. I kept waiting for that moment when the responsibility of it all would lift a bit, but I have realized this role is heavy. There is no escaping this lifelong duty to care for my girls. 

This has been a year of extreme stretching. Both of us have felt pulled and pushed. We have come to acknowledge that we must embrace this life we are living now. It is hard sometimes, but this notion that life is supposed to be easy has taunted us continually. Life is not easy and that is why we are in need of a Savior,  in need of a hope that supersedes this life. 

We had the chance to get away for an evening to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary when we were in Texas. The highlight, besides sleeping through the night, was conversing with Will uninterrupted. We were able to talk about goals we have for ourselves, for our relationship, and for our family. I feel hopeful for this year. We will probably still be continually exhausted and worn (hello, three grad classes this semester), but I hope we stop trying to rely on our own strength to get through the struggles. 

The pictures above are from our third attempt at family photos. My brother took these and I felt really hopeful in the outcome. However, we quickly discovered that the lens must have a crack because a line ran through nearly every photo and the photos were also out of focus. I tried to blur out the line, but it is still visible. I was quite discouraged, but having perfect family photos does not really matter, resulting in yet another life lesson I must learn. 

None of this would have made a very uplifting Christmas card, but it embodies the season of our family, and I feel looking back at this time will be worth while someday.