Wrong Impressions

According to my mother, the last blog post gave off the impression I was depressed. It was mostly the reflection of a hard week. Some things have come up that make our future even more unknown and Will had a stressful week of school. So between those two things, I was not super cheery.

BUT, things are getting better. We have decided that there really is no sense in worrying about the future. It is ok to think about our future, to actively try and plan for our future. However, sitting here fretting over situations that we have absolutely no control over or no way to know exactly how things will fall into place, is damaging. This is a lesson I must learn. Its a lesson that continues to present itself and I can never quite put it into memory.

I remember being sick to my stomach for weeks having no idea how I was going to graduate, plan a wedding, and then move all the way to Montana. I honestly I had no answers to how my stuff would be moved so far away. I had thrown my hands up and sat in a corner and rocked because in my little mind I could not think of a solution. BUT GUESS WHAT?? I made it to Montana, even though I did not have a solution. Things work out because ultimately it is NOT me who is in charge, imagine that.

You see, I know that I lack control, but I still try and get control. Is that what defines insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result? Well, here is my attempt to stop this cycle.

Last week I saw Will become consumed with worry. Let me tell you it is very unattractive. This is not a stab at Will, but a revelation I had about myself. I must be continually unattractive to him because I have continually been a worrier since he has known me. Being face to face with worry, is ugly.

So what am I doing about??

"Do NOT be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is TRUE, whatever is NOBLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is ADMIRABLE- if anything is EXCELLENT or PRAISEWORTHY- think about such things. " Philippians 4: 6-8

I think that right now I am trying to focus on the second part, the one with all the capitalized words. I want to focus on those things. I am pretty sure worry and the unknowns of our future to do not fall into any of those categories.

I believe we choose our attitude and unfortunately I often choose to have a bad one. But not this week. Life is really great for us, my complaints are foolish. Not having a job, makes every day a new day, I never know exactly what is going to happen. I have also loved getting called to substitute teach.

So you catch my point. Now I am off to be a cheery housewife, ha!

My Life As A Housewife

...is pretty uneventful

I wake up around 7:15 am and lay in bed until Will leaves to teach at 8:00 am.

I make the bed.

Try and figure out what to eat because as of lately everything is repulsive, pb&J this morning nearly made me hurl.

Read the bible and journal before I open the computer.

Clean up a bit.

Look for jobs, check email, gossip websites, waste time.

Will gets home and laughs because I am most likely not dressed yet.

Get excited because someone has responded about a resume I sent them, oh shoot, just another scammer. The only people who want to hire me are scammers. I usually send them an email back telling them what lame-os they are.

Go to a coffee shop (study for GRE that is on the 19th), knit, make headbands, pet the doggie, maybe get ready for the day at this point.

Work out at the climbing gym.

(Note: not every day is identical to this. Some days I actually get called to substitute or babysit for someone or work at the Help center or go to Erin's for Monday night football. Like today I officially applied to graduate school. I need some more misc. papers sent to them, but pretty much done.)

So this should pretty much explain the lack of blog posts. And my camera is dead. And snow is officially everywhere.

Oh, I forgot to add how much of a thoughtful wife I am, and how I never complain about anything!!