I feel I should explain why I have not blogged, but I think those two munchkins hold nearly every explanation. This blog has always been a place where I want to document our life. However, the actual living of life has taken precedent over any form of documentation.
We just came back from a week of visiting in Texas for Christmas. We were not able to see many of our friends, but the ones we did see, always ask, "How is life?" It is quite difficult for me to summarize exactly how our life has been since the last time we saw them. I usually say, good, or busy, or hard. All of which offer an answer, but give little insight into what our life is actually like. I think the lesson I have learned this past year is that our life is one that is spent constantly tending to the basics. Its as if the all the logistics of living have become heightened and consume us. Staying home with the girls gives me a deep awareness of how constant the need for nuritionment can be, every three hours they remind me. There are shirts to be buttoned, pants to be changed, socks to match, squabbles to regulate, letters to be taught, behaviors to discipline, faces to scrub, all of which happen before we have even left the realm of our home. Then there are the papers to write and counseling books to read. There are appointments for never ending coughs and difficult LASIK surgery recovery. There are heater repairmen, plumbers, and electricians to call. There is a mom and dad who need reminding that they are also husband and wife.
The weight of having children actually presses heavier with time. I kept waiting for that moment when the responsibility of it all would lift a bit, but I have realized this role is heavy. There is no escaping this lifelong duty to care for my girls.
This has been a year of extreme stretching. Both of us have felt pulled and pushed. We have come to acknowledge that we must embrace this life we are living now. It is hard sometimes, but this notion that life is supposed to be easy has taunted us continually. Life is not easy and that is why we are in need of a Savior, in need of a hope that supersedes this life.
We had the chance to get away for an evening to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary when we were in Texas. The highlight, besides sleeping through the night, was conversing with Will uninterrupted. We were able to talk about goals we have for ourselves, for our relationship, and for our family. I feel hopeful for this year. We will probably still be continually exhausted and worn (hello, three grad classes this semester), but I hope we stop trying to rely on our own strength to get through the struggles.
The pictures above are from our third attempt at family photos. My brother took these and I felt really hopeful in the outcome. However, we quickly discovered that the lens must have a crack because a line ran through nearly every photo and the photos were also out of focus. I tried to blur out the line, but it is still visible. I was quite discouraged, but having perfect family photos does not really matter, resulting in yet another life lesson I must learn.
None of this would have made a very uplifting Christmas card, but it embodies the season of our family, and I feel looking back at this time will be worth while someday.
