hello

I feel I should explain why I have not blogged, but I think those two munchkins hold nearly every explanation. This blog has always been a place where I want to document our life. However, the actual living of life has taken precedent over any form of documentation.

We just came back from a week of visiting in Texas for Christmas. We were not able to see many of our friends, but the ones we did see, always ask, "How is life?" It is quite difficult for me to summarize exactly how our life has been since the last time we saw them. I usually say, good, or busy, or hard. All of which offer an answer, but give little insight into what our life is actually like. I think the lesson I have learned this past year is that our life is one that is spent constantly tending to the basics. Its as if the all the logistics of living have become heightened and consume us. Staying home with the girls gives me a deep awareness of how constant the need for nuritionment can be, every three hours they remind me. There are shirts to be buttoned, pants to be changed, socks to match, squabbles to regulate, letters to be taught, behaviors to discipline, faces to scrub, all of which happen before we have even left the realm of our home. Then there are the papers to write and counseling books to read. There are appointments for never ending coughs and difficult LASIK surgery recovery. There are heater repairmen, plumbers, and electricians to call. There is a mom and dad who need reminding that they are also husband and wife. 

The weight of having children actually presses heavier with time. I kept waiting for that moment when the responsibility of it all would lift a bit, but I have realized this role is heavy. There is no escaping this lifelong duty to care for my girls. 

This has been a year of extreme stretching. Both of us have felt pulled and pushed. We have come to acknowledge that we must embrace this life we are living now. It is hard sometimes, but this notion that life is supposed to be easy has taunted us continually. Life is not easy and that is why we are in need of a Savior,  in need of a hope that supersedes this life. 

We had the chance to get away for an evening to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary when we were in Texas. The highlight, besides sleeping through the night, was conversing with Will uninterrupted. We were able to talk about goals we have for ourselves, for our relationship, and for our family. I feel hopeful for this year. We will probably still be continually exhausted and worn (hello, three grad classes this semester), but I hope we stop trying to rely on our own strength to get through the struggles. 

The pictures above are from our third attempt at family photos. My brother took these and I felt really hopeful in the outcome. However, we quickly discovered that the lens must have a crack because a line ran through nearly every photo and the photos were also out of focus. I tried to blur out the line, but it is still visible. I was quite discouraged, but having perfect family photos does not really matter, resulting in yet another life lesson I must learn. 

None of this would have made a very uplifting Christmas card, but it embodies the season of our family, and I feel looking back at this time will be worth while someday. 

it has been a while

Oh, blogging. I want so badly to have time to continue documenting our lives. It seems that instagram has taken over my documenting lately, even that is a bit sparse. After my last blog post is when we were hit with the virus, hand, foot, and mouth. I may still be recovering. Eliza screamed from the sores and my high fever forced me to call my mom for help. Life seems to be a blur after that. I want to mentally list off the things I never documented for my own sake. 

- Will went to Alaska at the end of July to early August. I was alone with the girls for ten days. I survived! He got to adventure with his good friend and forget about his needy girls. It was the first time he took solid days off of work. I was a little apprehensive about him actually coming back, but he did, and we are all so thankful!

-The very next weekend I went backpacking with some women (ladies? girls?). I was absolutely freezing, but loved being out in the wilderness. We have not had much time to just purely escape in the mountains since children, so I needed the time away. I felt thankful that I found a group of friends who desire to be outdoors and seek adventure. 

- Then we went to Winter Park. Will found a coupon for a hotel there and we decided to visit. There are countless places in Colorado we still have never visited, Winter Park was one of them. The town was basically deserted and incredibly kid friendly. We rode a gondola up to the ski resort area continuously, per Madison's request. We went to bed early, woke up early, and napped all together. It was a refreshing time for us as a family to not have any distractions. 

- I believe we went camping the weekend before Labor Day. We went with friends of ours with children the same age. We camped at 10,000 feet near a lake. The weather was 50 degrees and raining the entire time and our tent had holes. I am thankful for the experience, but I was miserably cold. This weekend was also the weekend our nephew and the girl's first cousin was born, Archer. 

- School started for me. I am about halfway through this semester and will start another class in a week. I will be meeting twice a week for class the remainder of the school year. It is really difficult for me to handle school, but some how we are making it through. This is probably the top reason I do not blog. Right now, I am blogging because I should be writing a paper. 

- Then there was Labor Day. This is the weekend we got sick. We had high hopes of building a fence and rounding off the house projects. Will started the fence, but it has sat unfinished since. 

- We all traveled with Will to a conference in Ft. Collins. Will attended the statistics conference while we hung out in a rental house. It ended up being another fun trip for us exploring a town we had never visited. We even took the girls to a beer tasting at a cider brewery. 

- I traveled solo to North Carolina to see my brother graduate with his Green Beret. This was a huge accomplishment on his end and I was so thankful I could celebrate with him. It is even better because he got stationed in Colorado Springs and will be here (in between deployments) for the next four years. He arrived in Colorado October 3 and it has been fun!

- Will's parents came in for a quick visit the first weekend in October. We did fall activities like attend a cider festival. We also rode the light rail downtown and explored Union Station. It was a nice visit. 

- Then we hosted Grant and his girlfriend the following weekend. We welcomed them to Colorado by attending a neighborhood handmade artisan festival. 

- Now we are half-way through October. This was going to be another weekend of house projects, but none of them were completed. Where does the time go??? The children are proving to still be a lot of work. We also had a saga picture taking fiasco that took up most of the weekend. Coordinating outfits, weather, two walking children, no photographer, and a perfectionist mom do not mix well. 

I am sure I left details out or have already blogged about them, oh well. Now, I have to finish the paper. 

Will claims we got a few good ones, but I am not entirely convinced. 

yet another house update!

I am roughly coming to terms with my need to constantly be changing up my decor. I really do like making our home a space that I feel inspired, comfortable, and aesthetically pleased. I am constantly working within my own boundaries of hating clutter, frugality, and practicality of having two small children. The majority of the updates I have done this year have cost less than $5,  were dumpster finds, and done by rearranging decor used in other rooms.

 The only real update I have left to do is our bathroom. I have wanted a dark painted room for some time (pretty much black). I thought that the bathroom would be a small enough space that I would not regret the decision. We are purchasing the items needed for the update a little at a time. Right now, I have the new shower curtain that I bought from Urban Outfitters. We are still waiting on buying new towels, a rug, and a new wall rack to add more storage. 

Let's start from the front door. 

I found the coffee table in the dumpster. It needed some glue to put it back together because it was in two parts. I also painted it white to hopefully cover whatever may have been left from the previous owner. The white, wooden chair by the door was also a dumpster find. Will says I have a problem. The gray rug I actually bought new from Urban Outfitters. The sheep skin rug was a craigslist purchase. Let's just say I thought it would be much larger. 

I finally added Eliza's little silhouette to our family collage. 

Our room is mostly the same. That rug has had many homes the past few months, but I like where it has settled now. The biggest change for our room is that it is actually ours now. We have moved everything that is baby related into the girl's shared room. This is another reason for the bathroom remodel, it will be a celebration of reclaiming our room. 

I am still probably going to be tweaking their room, but it is in a spot that I feel good about. The quilt on Madison's bed was made by Will's mom. Everything else I made. Those tassels are made out of a dollar store table cloth and I had to add embroidery hoops somehow. 

We keep all of their toys in the closet. We are fortunate to have such huge closets that this seems to work well for now. When Eliza eventually leaves her beloved pack-n-play we are hoping for bunk beds, which will leave more space for toys in the actual room. 

I know it is kind of taboo to have toilet pictures, but I have never shown the guest bathroom. It is hard to photograph because of how small it is, but hopefully you get the gist. I had to have that ampersand sign even though Will continually asks me what exactly it means. I tell him I have no idea, I just really like it, ok??

Another view our repainted cabinets and homemade table. I am still so pleased with our cabinets. Those flowers on the table are from a bush that came with the house and  have absolutely ignored. It grows larger every year and is now producing the most beautiful flowers. How that works and then we immediately kill all our flowers we purchase, I have no idea?

The room that has continually changed. Since Eliza booted us out of our room for twelve months, we had to find a bed we could comfortably sleep in. I found a tempurpedic mattress from a dad in our neighborhood who just thought, "it was much too soft." I actually prefer the mattress over ours. The new comforter was a garage sale find and is a bit lumpy, but Will prefers the pattern over the other one. 

That is what our house looks like exactly in this moment because I took these photos about fifteen minutes ago. 

Maybe next I will blog about our family adventures we have gone on the past two weeks. 

head comparisons

I took some of my favorite photos of the girls last year around this time. I laid them on a white blanket and focused on just capturing their heads. I just love the way they were both staring at the camera. I look at the picture and feel a great connection to them. 

I decided that it might be fun to try and recreate the photos. The only real issue was that Eliza is now mobile and gets extremely frustrated when she feels she is being forced to do something. I had about ten seconds to capture the photo because Eliza quickly realized she did not want any part of this photo taking business. The first couple of pictures were the only decent ones I could get. However, I have about fifteen that look identical to the last photo. Maybe next year I will have better luck. 

a backyard reveal

I posted all the way back in October about the paver patio that Will built. It was a huge, laboring process, but he did it all himself! Then winter hit and it sat unused while the snow kept falling. We also used this time as a bit of break from house projects. Then came summer again and we were determined to have a usable backyard space. Will hired someone to aerate and fertilize the lawn in May, which I think, did wonders for the grass. We then began spraying weed killer on nearly everything. I guess we were super anti-chemicals in the past, but we finally just gave in to the beauty of them. Then we put down landscaping fabric where all our dirt piles and weeds had been. Finally, Will had 5 tons of rocks delivered and dumped on our street. He then proceeded to shovel wheel barrow after wheel barrow full of rocks to fill in all our empty space. I should add that I did my fair share of wheel barrow fulls as well. He also built a couple of planter boxes out of old pallets to put next to the garage. I planted a mix of wildflower seeds, strawberries, and blackberry plants. We finished it off by hanging lights across the yard. I feel like we have really taken advantage of the luscious yard and ease of sitting back there. 

Can you tell which ones are the before?? 

Next up on our to do list is a new fence on the side of our house and back of yard by the alley. There is a good section of our property that is not usable right now because we have not extended the fence to include that section. Our eventual hope is to add a play area for the kids and ourselves. The area will consist of a climbing wall. We also are thinking about a fire pit so we can still enjoy the patio when Fall comes. 

I want to blog, but....

I just can not seem to find the motivation. I want to not worry about it, but this is one of the main ways in which I record what our family has been doing. Instagram has proven to be an efficient way of jotting down quick memories to look back on, but I do not want to give up on the little blog. 

I still need to get the pictures of Madison's birthday party off of my phone. I think that I want to write a post dedicated to her turning three, but I am not sure I have it in me to be sentimental. I am much too busy raising these girls to have time to step back and reflect on their aging. I also can not comprehend how Madison was once where Eliza is and soon Eliza will be where Madison is, it blows my mind! I should write something though about my little miss... 

1. She loves her backpack and lunch box my mom gave her as a birthday present. They are for preschool that she will be starting in two weeks (yikes), but she carries them everywhere now. They are stuffed full of books and toys. She can barely carry them because they are so heavy, but she still insists on taking them everywhere. I feel that this is so Madison. 

2. She received a puzzle of Disney princesses for her birthday. She has been working on it day and night for about two weeks straight. Putting it together with our help and taking it apart, over and over again. She finally is able to do it all on her own. I just love her determined nature and how she gets fixated on certain things. 

3. She is now sharing a room with Eliza. We made the transition right before Will left for Alaska. We had attempted on several occasions and it went horribly. This time we took apart the crib and moved Eliza's pack n play into the bedroom. They sleep together really well at night and have been taking naps in separate rooms. I think Eliza loves being included and having Madison so close to her. Even when Madison talks herself to sleep and kicks the wall, Eliza will still fall asleep. 

4. We gave Madison a strider type bike for her birthday. It does not have pedals, but she learns to balance this way. She has been taking it with us on walks and is really getting the hang of it. I have really enjoyed watching her learn all these new things. 

5. Madison has figured out she can completely pick Eliza up. These past few days I have caught Madison walking around carrying Eliza. Even though Eliza is dangling by her neck in Madison's arms, she is totally delighted and smiling. Now that Eliza is so much bigger, I am getting real glimpses into their relationship as sisters. Let's just say those sibling dynamics start early! 

6. I have heard that three is a really rough age, but so far it has been pretty manageable. We will see how it is in another six months. I love being able to communicate with Madison. I really enjoy listening to what she has to say and how she is processing the world. 

I mentioned earlier that Will was in Alaska. He went to visit a friend for nine days and ten nights. I was totally on my own, but I survived. I think I realized that I can actually handle both girls on my own and do it fairly well, but it just gets to be so lonely. I ended up missing Will's company more than his help. I guess that is a good thing, it means I still like my husband for who he is! 

This is another busy month for us. I am going backpacking this weekend with some of my girl friends. I have not been backpacking since before children, so I am excited. Then this Monday we are going to Winter Park as a family. We are staying two nights in a hotel that Will found a travel voucher for. Then we are going camping with two families we are really good friends with. Madison starts school and my classes start up again. Then, boom, it is September. What a crazy summer!

Hopefully, I will bring out my real camera again and start taking pictures. We have been just soaking up every bit of summer and I love it. 

a ring and fourth of july

I am not sure if we have actually been busy or I just keep making things up to keep me busy, either way the summer is flying by. The list of things I have added for myself to do mostly include paint, lots and lots of paint. I found a coffee table in the dumpster (my dumpster diving is causing mild problems in our marriage) and needed to repair it, then paint it white. I decided that if I am going to paint the coffee table white, might as well paint the cheap target side table we have white. Then if I am re-doing the furniture in the living room, might as well get a new rug. Which led to new outdoor pillows, cushion covers, and a red front door. Followed by a new shower curtain, eventually painting bathroom walls, and building a new shelving unit for the bathroom. Does the connection all make sense? I am almost finished with the front door and the new rug should be here tomorrow. Maybe, I will finally post pictures of the outside work and updates around the house. 

But, I think I started off wanting to talk about the week before the 4th of July and the actual 4th. 

We bought a new engagement ring for me. The back story is that my engagement ring was a solitaire aquamarine. The stone stuck up quite a bit and always got caught on things. I found that I hardly ever wore it because I have been working with children or having children the majority of our marriage and did not want to scratch them. The other thing we did not know when we were looking at rings was that aquamarines get cloudy very easily and need to be cleaned constantly. So we decided a few years ago that we would get me a new ring that was more my style and one that I would actually wear. 

I had a long list of requirements I wanted in a new ring, but here is the summary. I did not want it to stick out, I did not want to spend a fortune, I wanted it to have diamonds (I like shiny things, oops), I wanted it to have some meaning. I found a style of ring I like and began my research. I found some on ebay, some on custom design sites, and some in local jewelry shops. I then stumbled upon a site called, "I do, Now I don't." I found the exact ring I had been looking for on this site listed at nearly the exact amount of money we had been saving. I figured it was meant to be. I really liked that it was previously owned and no new materials were used. As far as the meaning goes, I am not sure there is one besides that now I have a ring I enjoy wearing. It does have three stones, so maybe each stone can represent my loves, William, Eliza, and Madison. 

We then went on a fancy date to celebrate. We had a friend come over and sit on the couch for two hours after the girls went to sleep. We hit the town by getting queso and margaritas followed by a short stroll.  Our friend declared that she would be willing to do this every week for us, if this is true, I think it would do wonders for us. 

The following day both my brother and dad came in for the weekend. We ended up not doing much, but as always, I loved having my family here. Having family love on my girls makes me happier than almost anything. On the fourth, we went on our roof to watch fireworks. We did not end up seeing very many, but I am now itching to spend more time on our roof. I guess there are some benefits to having a flat roof. 

On another note, Madison turned three yesterday! I should devote a post to that at some point. My mom comes in tomorrow, yay! Then we have Madison's birthday party on Saturday. I am excited for this week and can not wait to celebrate Madison. 

summer, summer

Eliza turned one and, blink, two weeks pass. We ended up having another couple over for dinner the Saturday after Eliza's birthday. They have a son that is a week younger, so I thought we could have a mini celebration. I made a cake for Eliza and let her blow out a candle and eat a slice. I find it so funny how she "got" the whole concept. She even blew out the candle. And I think that look on her face when she ate the cake all by herself, will always be a memory of mine. 

Then the following week we had a jam packed week filled with outdoor fun everyday. Apparently, we had so much fun, the girls could not handle it all. That Thursday, Madison had a fever of 105 and Eliza kept throwing up. Both of these ailments caused them not to sleep more than 45 minutes at a time. This sickness lasted about two days and two nights, we were exhausted. However, we had made plans to go to Estes Park to visit our friends that started an open air adventure park there. We managed to get to Estes and it ended up being a fun trip. We rock climbed with the children (our friends have two kids the same age as the girls). Two of us would climb and then the other two would make sure none of the children jumped off the cliff. I was incredibly rusty, but it makes me wish we could find more time to climb. I guess it will still have to be put away into the, "some day," category of activities. Then we hired a babysitter for after the kids went to sleep. We went to the local bar that Will and I used to go to when we worked in Estes. It was great! We had the place to ourselves and sat by the fire pit on the porch of the bar. Our conversation mostly included topics other than our children. 

Now, we are still going with the activities. We hosted the group from our church last night in our backyard. We have been working all summer on putting the finishing touches to the yard and I am so thankful we could have people over. Tomorrow my brother and dad get in to celebrate the fourth with us. I am really looking forward to their visit because we have not seen them since Christmas. Hope everyone enjoys the holiday, it is probably my favorite! 

kitchen smitchen

And now, for the longest time between before and after photos. Lets all remember that we have two children with a long list of needs, so we did this remodel to the best of our ability. I painted the cabinets fairly quickly, remember those photos? It took quite sometime to install the bead board on the ends of our cabinet. It required a lot of measuring, sawing, nailing, re-measuring, re-sawing, and re-nailing. We learned a lot along the way, you know, just in case we ever do this again (we won't). As with any project we complete, one should never look too closely, but from a far, I must say we can pull off quite a lot. 

Here we go.

Before refreshers: 

And, after: 

I think this project will keep me held over for a while. I am happy that we did it all ourselves, but it did take longer than anticipated. I love how much the color brightens up the space and decreased the amount of differing wood colors our house has.