sharing the news

I have been a bit more hesitant to share the news of this pregnancy. With Madison, I practically shouted it from the rooftops. I think nearly everyone knew when I was about  6 weeks pregnant. I kept waiting to feel that same desire this time, but it just was not coming. I guess I was and still am extremely nervous about having two children. But when Thanksgiving rolled around and Will's family would be visiting, I knew we should break the news in person. So I quickly made a onesie for Madison to share the news with the family over Thanksgiving dinner. 

It was not until Will asked his mom, "Do you like Madison's new shirt?" That she noticed. She even had to read it aloud before the message clicked, we got a pretty good laugh out of that. 

Even though sharing the news of this pregnancy with our friends and family has made it more real, I still can not fully process we will have another child. All I can imagine is Madison, how can a whole other, unique child be forming inside me right now? I am hoping that when I can feel the baby move the reality will hit home a little more because I am still a bit in denial.

i guess it is about time...

to share what has really been going on.... 

14 weeks pregnant!

and, no, that belly is not the result of a few too many holiday cheers (I wish), that is baby B number two! 

I kept hoping that some creative way to share the news would come to me, but no such luck. I finally decided to take a picture of the growing midsection because, well, I actually got dressed.

Even though no one has actually asked me any of these questions, I thought it would be nice to include answers to some questions someone out there might possibly be wondering, so here it goes. 

-But you just had a baby, was this, um, planned? 

  

Lets just say that, after Madison, we pretty much figured out where babies come from. 

The baby is due around June 17, which will make the babes roughly two years apart. We decided that we would rather finish the baby years while we were still in them, instead of waiting until Madison is 4 or 5. This will likely be my last pregnancy and two years age difference seems ideal to me. 

-How are you feeling?

I have felt better. 

When I was pregnant with Madison, I literally had nothing to do. Just sit and watch my belly grow. I worked out everyday, I got dressed, I cleaned, I did normal everyday things, except for feeling extra emotional, I felt pretty good. 

This pregnancy, has made me a zombie. I think that the sheer energy it requires to keep up with Madison is taking everything  I got. I have still attempted to work out, but every other day is about all I can manage. Often times I am already exhausted from getting us all dressed and out the door for a run.  

I am also filled with a bit more apprehension about welcoming a new baby into our lives. With Madison, we lived in a state of oblivious bliss. I thought that Madison would be my own real-life baby doll. Because Madison is somewhat of a struggle still, I am extremely nervous about handling two children. Those newborn days are incredibly fresh in my mind and they were some dark times for me. My prayer is that this baby will give me only what I can handle and that my mom moves up here in June!

-Are you going to gain 50 pounds again? 

Looks like it. I have already gained seven, so that puts me right on track to gain those lovely 50 pounds. 

With Madison, I had extreme anxiety over how much weight I was packing on. So much anxiety, that my normally low blood pressure, would sky-rocket after they told me my weight. 

Before I got pregnant this time, I told myself to just enjoy this pregnancy, especially since its my last. I am attempted to do that. I am giving into my cravings a lot more this time and just kind of letting the weight gain occur. I am still trying to be healthy because exercise and eating right help me mentally, but I am trying not to freak out over the numbers.

Pregnancy is such a short period of time and I want to try to enjoy this time as much as possible because I can not get it back. Lets hope that the second trimester will give way to more energy! 

-Will you be finding out the gender?

We have decided to keep the gender a surprise until the birth. Since I already know what it is like to find out the gender before the baby is born, I would like to know what it is like to wait.   I think that waiting will be a lot easier this time because I am so preoccupied with Madison, I hardly give this pregnancy much thought. I also already got the feisty girl I wanted, so I am fine with either one. If I had to guess, I would say this baby is a girl because the heart rate has been extremely high just like Madison's was.

-How is Will doing? 

Will is much more enthusiastic about this baby than I am. Which I am really thankful for. With Madison he was a bit concerned, considering he was still in graduate school with no future job lined up. His peace of mind comes from knowing we have a stable living environment coupled with a stable income. He also knows now how much fun children can be and is looking forward to having another.  He is a bit nervous that this baby might be a girl and he will be forever surrounded by emotional Stephanie 2.0s. 

And there you have it, all the details you may or may not have wanted to know.

Oh, I forgot.... 

-What does Madison think about becoming a big sister?

a november recap...

Since I have been out of the blogging routine for some time now, I have quite a bit to catch up on. Life started happening really fast and I did not even slow down enough to document it with pictures. We thought that October would be our crazy month with all the trips, but turns out November was just as wild. 

1. The last of October we spent trick or treating. Or rather making sure we did not lose our little lady bug in the unlit streets of Denver. 

2. Then the first weekend in November, Will's sister Erin came to visit us. This was such a welcome, last minute visit. Madison fell hard for Erin and totally ignored me the entire weekend. We were also able to enjoy a meal with out the wee little babe for the first time in a veeery long time. We went to super nice breakfast and enjoyed the simplicity of not having to wrestle a toddler. 

3. Then the very next weekend, my sneaky brother and husband surprised me with a visit from Grant. He was on his way to North Carolina where he will be based for the next year and a half while he trains to become a Special Forces super ninja or something. 

4. We then had about a week and a half of no visitors and then we geared up for Thanksgiving. Will's family drove up from Texas and stayed for several days. Our house was the most full it has ever been and I am still trying to recover, ha. It was great to have them all here and have them get to see our new house. We also ate a lot of delicious meals. 

5. In between all the visitors we have been dealing with an extremely moody, sleep rioting 16 month old toddler. She has made our duty as parents a bit trying lately. Who knows what is ailing her, maybe those four molars popping in? Maybe her evil twin is taking over? But, she is making us bananas with all the crying. I am thinking about looking into seeing a homeopathic type doctor, maybe a chiropractor visit, anything to help the babe out (and us...). 

6. I am almost finished with my second class for graduate school. Is it bad I am already tired of doing school? I am thankful that the course work is not that intensive yet and with every class I am just one step closer to having my Master's. 

Now that November is over and we only have one month left in this year, I think we will finally be taking it easy. We are staying here for Christmas and it will be the first Christmas we are not surrounded by family. I am a little bit sad about that, but also thankful we have each other and a wonderful home to celebrate in. We are purchasing our first Christmas tree from a lot this weekend, and I am really excited to decorate with Madison (all our ornaments are plastic so nothing will be too badly damaged). 

Hopefully, I will take more pictures this month and we will finish this year with Christmas cheer!

whoa, where did november go??

Hello there, where did we leave off? Oh, ya the elections? That is so last week or three weeks ago news. 

So turns out that my post about declaring everyone should visit, actually did just that. We have had back to back visitors for the entire month of November. Will's sister, Erin, came into town, and then the following week, my brother surprised me by coming in. Don't get me wrong I have loved having all the visitors, but I have been exhausted. We have had just enough breathing room, to gear up for hosting almost all of Will's family tomorrow. Whew! 

Madison has absolutely loved all the visitors. It has been really neat to watch her bond with our siblings. Each one taught her a little something new and added a piece to her. She was pretty distraught once the reality of only being around me sank in. 

There are not many other adventures to share right now because our time has been filled to the brim with our loved ones. I am sure it will take sometime to get back into whatever rhythm of life we once had. I am just in disbelief that Thanksgiving is in two days. Then Christmas. Then the New year. 

I am actually not that upset about how fast time has gone this year because we have truly lived every minute of it. We have traveled, accomplished, and enjoyed so much of this year. If we can live every year as full as we did this one, then I guess time passing is not so bad.

Will's family arrives tomorrow, they are driving from Texas. So we will have three more adults, plus another dog, living with us for a couple of days. Wish us luck! 

Hope everyone else has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

my thoughts on the election

One of the many benefits of living in Colorado is the fact that it is a swing state. Meaning, Obama and Romney's campaign constantly flood my television viewing with political ads bashing each other. This pretty much leaves me feeling not so nice things towards both of them.

But before I express my thoughts on the intense opinions surrounding this election (and all the others before it...), know that Will and I both have already voted. Even though I do not stand strongly behind one specific candidate, the fact that everyone (even if you do not speak English) can vote in this country is something that should not be taken lightly. I imagine those that live in countries where there is no public voting option, would do just about anything to get a chance to change the way their government is being led. So please, even if the election season is just as annoying to you as it is to me, vote. Just do it.

Now my opinions on politics is coming from a faith point of view. This probably automatically makes me naive and apathetic, but it makes sense to me. I have made a decision, probably around the time Obama was running in 2008, to not partake in the fear associated with the possible downturn of our country. The idea that Obama might be the anti-christ or that Obama will take away all of our rights, or whatever else circulates around in this false email chains, I have chosen to ignore them. Tax-cuts, foreign policy, women's rights, welfare, war, all of these political stances are formed from one mindset; the mindset that we should save a failing world.

In the end, this wonderful country or the person in charge of it, do not hold the well being of my future. Christ alone does. 

The thing is, there will never be a solution to any of these issues people so adamantly debate. The world is made up of fallen, sinful people in need of a savior, including our future, Mr. President. 

I find confidence in knowing that there is hope for my soul beyond this world. That in the end, no one can take all the money they saved with them (even if they invested in a way that the government could never touch...). The kingdoms we all build will eventually fall, unless we live for something more than the here and now have to offer. 

There is a song by JJ Heller, that really sums up how I feel: 

"Oh this silly heart of mine
Looking for new things to buy
Nothing really satisfies
In the end, in the end
Greed is making fools of us
Waging war betraying trust
Empires only fade to dust
In the end, in the end

Safety is not for sale.
(You can not buy peace of mind)
Earthly defenses fail
(There's nothing new under the sky)
Build your kingdom all your life
And say goodbye
In the end, in the end"

So go vote, but no matter that outcome, I pray, you will find hope in something else besides the winner. 

we love visitors, hint, hint

 This past weekend my friend from high school, Claire, came into town. We have been friends since we were freshmen in high school. I am really thankful for her friendship because through out each stage of our life she has always made an effort to keep in touch with me. From letters we would write in college to long emails when I was lonely in Bozeman. She has shown such support and enthusiasm for me through out every life change that has occurred, especially Madison. It means so much to me, that she will think of Madison when she is casually shopping in Target and purchase her the most adorable coat and then insist on buying her something when are looking around the shops in Estes Park, it is just so thoughtful. 

The point being, I am thankful for her friendship and the effort she made to come and visit us, I had so much fun. 

We went to a fancy dinner on Friday night when she arrived and Madison behaved beautifully, it was awesome. 

We then woke up Saturday morning and spent all day in Estes Park. Claire was such a great sport about us dragging her all over the town, even up a mountain. I am sure she was worn out by the time her flight left on Sunday, but she never complained, ha! 

So hopefully all this super fun looking pictures Claire took, will inspire others to come and visit us. It would almost be like a vacation. If a vacation to you involves waking up at six in the morning, having a baby wipe snot on your sleeve, and having a desperate-for-attention dog smother you with kisses.

Madison will show you all her tricks, like putting herself in luggage. 

 We could go exploring in the Rocky Mountain National Park. Since most of you will come from sea level, you could also be subject to altitude sickness, sorry Claire!

You could be our photographer and take pictures of us.

 We could also take pictures with you!

You could watch Madison beat on Aspen.

Madison could steal your iPhone and take self portraits of her belly.

And you could to see all the sides of a baby. This was right before she entered into a no-nap induced scream fest. 

Overall, we just really enjoying sharing our lives with other people. We spend most of our days just the three of us (well, four if you count Aspen), and it is nice to have some company. 

It snowed all last night and so it seems all the fall colors are gone for the season. We did manage to finally decorate for Halloween before the snow hit. So we have a scarecrow out front that is covered in snow.

hawaii, hawaii

my travel recap, a bit out of order

Hello out there! I am finally back from our whirl wind month. After we attended my sister-in-law's wedding in Bozeman, I had about a week to catch my breath and head out to HAWAII. I have several pictures from that trip, but I am having trouble getting them on my computer. Then less than a day after I came back from Hawaii, I left for Texas. I finally arrived back home on Sunday, whew. In the midst of all that traveling, I also finished my first graduate school class, woohoo. 

So here are some pictures from our Texas adventure.

We went to this pumpkin patch across from where my mom lives, hoping for some good photos. Madison did what she always does and ignored the camera and did her own thing. She really enjoyed rearranging the little pumpkins and riding in the wagon. I think she rode in a wagon 90% of the time we were at my mom's house. We also went to the scarecrow festival in Chappell Hill on Saturday. It was a lot of fun, but pretty exhausting for me. I chased my independent child around the whole thing, but she loved it.

I am thankful to be back home in our little house. The fall colors have really hit Denver and I loved all the leaves that crinkled underneath my feet when I went running yesterday. 

My friend Claire is coming on Friday and we are going to take her to Estes Park. Hopefully the Elk will be out and the leaves will still be on the trees, can't wait! 

I am already a bit sad that October is over half way over, it is my all time favorite month, so many wonderful things have happened to us in October.

Half the Sky

I am not one to really push a charity or social cause on anyone. I think it is wonderful that some people feel so passionate about one specific cause they want to let everyone know about it. However, I think it is difficult to try and force a social cause on someone.

BUT, the big but, is that I do think attempting to bring awareness to some social injustice is necessary. There are certain atrocities that go on in this world that people could very well never know about unless someone informs them.

The world-wide state of women and young girls is an example of an epidemic I had no real knowledge about. From the daunting statistics of the number of girls sold into sex slavery, the widespread, socially accepted gender based violence, the number of women who die tragic deaths simply trying to give birth, its tragic.

The book, Half the Sky, is written by a husband and wife who both worked for the New York Times as journalists. They wrote the book after years of research and first hand accounts of these wicked acts towards women. The book is necessarily graphic and informative. It brings to light issues I did not even know existed. 

So when Will, my thoughtful husband, saw that PBS was going to show the documentary on Half the Sky, I was excited to watch the video footage. The documentary is in two parts, each about two hours. We watched the first part on the PBS website. 

To see the faces of these girls as young as three who have been sold into brothels, is heart-wrenching. To hear them sing their stories about the torture they endured everyday, is sickening. But, also to see the tremendous work of certain individuals to rescue these girls, to give them hope, to provide funds for their education, its incredibly moving.

As a woman, and as a mother to a daughter, these stories touch almost too close. Imagining my wide-eyed, beautiful, baby girl experiencing such horrid abuse, is too much for me to handle.

I am not sure yet what my role will be in helping these women across the world flee their situation and help them in their quest for education, but I am thinking hard about it.

I encourage you to either read the book Half the sky or visit the PBS website and watch the documentary. It will be eye-opening.

that time we became matching hipsters

 

But, don't tell Will that our glasses match, he gets pretty defensive. 

I secretly love that he has followed in my trendy ways. I used to balk at the idea that I was "trendy," but now I am totally comfortable enough to admit. Even though Will often laughs at some of the outfits I put together in the name of trendiness, I am tickled to see he has embraced some of my tendencies. 

We could claim that our glasses were a really good deal because they were only $99 from Warby Parker, but we all know its because we like to fit in. 

P.S. you should see all the outfits my stylish husband has been putting together. This real-world job has really upped his awareness for appearances. He left for his work conference with two suits packed and wearing jeans with a blazer, who is this man?? Maybe I could convince him to partake in an outfit post??

Have a wonderful weekend. 

We are just going to lay low this weekend. Bring dinner to a family in our parent's group that just welcomed a new baby. I might take myself on a date to Starbucks to get some work done for my class. We might ride bikes and get more flat tires.

weekend away

(blogger is being difficult and all the spacing is off, sorry about that.)

Our weekend away in Bozeman for my sister in law's wedding was pretty wonderful. Of course we missed Madison, but it was surprisingly easy to go about our days with out worrying about her. The weekend seemed to last forever, three days away felt like a week, which was great. By Monday, I was pretty ready to get home to our baby though. I am so thankful my mom was so willing to stay with Madison and we could try to remember what we were like pre-baby.

The wedding was really beautiful. Erin, Will's sister, put everything together herself. She even made all the food herself, it was incredible. The whole night turned out wonderfully, nothing like spending the evening in the Montana air.

Above are our attempts to get a decent picture together. 

Below is us trying to make the most of an evening sans baby. We were ready for bed by 10 pm, a bit sad.  We just aren't as young as we look.

someone is missing her daddy

After her daily rearrangement of our closet, little miss came out wearing this. She put it on just like this herself and I think my insides were beyond tickled. I love that she remembers that this is the way Will wears his hat. I love that even when he is not here, she is still trying to be just like him. 

We are anxiously waiting my mom's arrival. Scrubbed the house all morning and finally sitting to rest a bit while Madison naps. 

Two more days until Will and I get our first weekend away. Eeek! 

our week in iPod pictures

 

1. Sick miss and her bedhead. 

2. Madison crying while I try to take a picture of us together. typical.

3 & 4. My project that took up the entire week. Redoing the guest bedroom with out spending any money. I did a lot of painting and Madison helped.

5. What our Saturday looked like. She has been on a sleeping strike again. Refusing to nap and then screaming about it the rest of the day. Its really fun. Except not really, its extremely frustrating.

6. We got out to enjoy the Fall colors yesterday. I am still recovering from my sickness, so we did not hike very far.

7. I also painted chalkboards on either side of our kitchen cabinets. Turns out Madison only wants to draw on it when I am trying to. If I am not drawing on it, she just wants to draw on everything else in the house with the chalk. 

8. Date night in. A mexican fiesta and football. Will left today so we were trying to spend some quality time together. 

So thats where we are now. Will gone and me left all alone with this irritable, no sleeping child. No sleep = no breaks for me. I am just thankful my mom is coming in on Wednesday or else I am not sure we would survive. 

Being sick has really thrown a wrench in our lives. It really rocked the good thing we had going where she napped and was happy when she woke up. Now the whole day is just a crying mess and its really wearing me down. Hopefully things will look up soon.

sick.sick.sick

It seems we just can not catch a break. Madison had Roseola a few weeks ago, then popped three teeth, and now she has a runny nose that she shared with me. However, her runny nose found its way to my throat, my sinuses, my joints, my eye sockets, I am struggling. It is really difficult to care for a sick baby when the caretaker can barely stand. Unfortunately, Will is super busy at work and unable to take time away. We are sort of just floating through right now.

On the plus side, I hope that this sickness passes soon and I can thoroughly enjoy all that we have coming up. Want to know what all we are going to be doing??? 

I have another 30 days of working out to the Insanity DVDS.

This Monday Will leaves for a week long conference in Clevleand. 

 My mom comes in on Wednesday to help me with Madison because I am just not cut out to be a single mom. 

 I fly to Bozeman that Friday and meet Will there. Will's sister is getting married on the 22nd and we get to attend sans baby because my mom is going to stay and take care of her. It will be our first getaway with out baby. Not sure what I will do with myself. 

 My mom flies back to Texas on the 26th. We will all cry a bit.

Then on Oct. 4-7, I will fly to Hawaii. This is a super spontaneous trip that my dad so graciously paid for me to go on. So my dad and I will go and see Grant one more time in Hawaii before he leaves. Yet another trip with out baby, what is this.

Then on October 9 -13 I will fly to Austin to stay with my mom. I have not been back to Austin to see my mom in over a year, it should be great. We will also be going to the Scarecrow Festival in Chapel Hill, it is a family tradition.

Then the weekend of October 20 -21, my long time friend Claire is finally coming to see us. I can hardly wait.

Whew, it is going to be an exhausting, but exciting couple of weeks. Definitely trying to smash as much in as we can before the year ends.

Lets hope that this sickness clears and I can be myself again.

this week

This pretty much sums up the week we had.

My daughter in all her independent glory. Insisting on sweeping with my underwear (clean because she took them from the washer) on the handle, but then immediately frustrated because two seconds later she decided she did not want the underwear on the handle. Hard life, sister.

I think that anytime we do anything out of the ordinary with Madison, like go out of town to Breckenridge, it takes a good week to recover. She might be teething, she might just be moody, but whatever it is, she was a little bit difficult this week. She wore me out.

We had a pretty good weekend though. I drove to Boulder to meet my friend Brittany to shop at an handmade craft fair. I was overwhelmed with all the beautiful items for sale and of course was face to face with my indecisiveness and did not buy anything. Well, I did buy some incredible food from the food trucks. There is going to be another fair in December, maybe by then I will have decided on something I for sure want to buy.

Then we went to a potluck dinner with the group of parents we know through church. It was so much fun. We have now known these families for a year and its so wonderful to be completely relaxed around each other and laugh at how crazy life with children is. The night was full of half conversations (you know the ones you can't finish because you always have to stop to get that piece of who knows what out of your kids mouth), messy floors, and feeding each others children.

Will went to work early again today so he can be back in time for me to head to class. We have nothing really planned this week. I am getting the itch to re-decorate something, so maybe that will happen. But we have huge plans for the next month and a half, can't wait to share them. 

weekend iPod pictures

1. Trying out some pigtails. She was not too thrilled about them. 

2. Helping dad scatter the grass clippings Friday night. Quite the exciting task. 

3. Will playing in Madison's room on Saturday. 

4. My outfit of the day on Saturday. We were going shopping. 

5. She finally let us put the helmet on. She previously would cry in sheer terror. We rode our bikes to some trendy little shops a couple of blocks from us. 

6. My purchases. They were all bought at consignment shops. Afterwards, Will said, "you know you can buy clothes that aren't used." 

7. We finally arrived in Breckenridge and we were letting her roam free in the parking lot. 

8. My loves. 

9. Ceremony? What ceremony? Lets just play in the forest! 

10. Finally passed out after the wedding. She refused to sleep on the drive to Breckenridge and was in constant motion at the wedding. So baby was sleepy. 

11. This was her on the drive to Breck. We were playing the game where she throws all her toys and I pick them up, it is really fun. 

12. Riding her own bike in one of the shops in Breck. 

That about sums up our weekend. I am thankful it is a short week because Will has to work early two mornings this week and I am not the biggest fan of getting up and out of bed at 6:30 to take care of miss.

Breckenridge

We headed out to the mountains yesterday, along with the rest of the city of Denver, and we landed in Breckenridge. 

We had the wedding of Will's roommate from college to attend. It was a late afternoon wedding at a rental house overlooking the mountains. It was gorgeous. The town of Breckenridge was bustling with tourists and it was great to be surrounded by such views. 

Unfortunately, Will and I both struggled a bit with trying to juggle the no-nap miss while attempting to enjoy an adult gathering. Some of those, "woah is me", feelings surfaced again, ones that presented themselves continually when Madison was first born. Those feelings mostly surface when I want so badly to recapture the freedom of not having a child. And last night, chasing a baby through the woods and missing the ceremony, being unable to eat any of the appetizers before they were finished, and having to duck out before the cake was cut or dancing started, really brought up those freedom-mourning emotions. After trying for three hours to get her sleep in the hotel, Will and I went to bed on not so great terms. 

But the wonderful thing about waking up with peaks outside your window, is that being able to let go of those heavy feelings becomes a bit easier. We decided we were going to just try and make the most of the morning. And I do believe we did just that. 

The beneficial thing about having a child that does not sleep past 6:30, is that we got to have the town to ourselves. All the shops were closed in downtown Breckenridge, but we visited a coffee shop and just strolled the street. We didn't have to worry about sharing the sidewalk with anyone and talking over any noise. It was just our little family in the mountains. 

We then caught the first trip up the mountain on the Gondola. It was so much fun. We didn't get very high, but it was nice to zoom up and over the mountainside, squeezed in close with each other. Once we got back down, it was time to drive back home. I felt incredibly thankful that we get to live in a place where such rugged nature is only a couple of hours away.

Even though we both still deal with the letdown of unmet expectations that come with trying to accommodate another life, we are in agreement, this life we are living together trumps any life spent apart.