Christmas

It is hard to believe last year Madison was just a little blob inside of me causing me to be in a constant fog and quite the bah-hum-bug. This year I got to snuggle her and stay up all night with her. Even though the sleepless nights are beyond rough, I was so thankful to get to share her with family this year. When she was not tired, she was very entertaining. She is enthralled with nearly everything and a Tupperware top and wrapping paper kept her attention for so very long.

1. My lovely husband and me waiting in the airport. There was a horrible snowstorm that hit the morning we were leaving for Texas. We were so relieved to make it the airport safely and on time, only to find out that the pilot was unable to leave his house, ten minutes before we should have taken off. So after a two hour delay, we made it to Texas. Madison is also on a sleep on the airplane strike, so that is fun.

2. We finally got her to sleep in the airport by walking her around. But when we were sitting down below the stroller, we looked up and saw some very curious eyes staring at us. Turns out she had pooped huge, but we did not discover this until takeoff. I am talking, she needed a new onesie, pants, and blanket, it was everywhere.

3. Madison is enthralled with her new sock monkey. Eating its foot is much more important than looking at the camera.

4. Look how happy she is on Christmas morning. Its this smile that makes waking up every hour during "vacation" worth it.

5. She loved being in new toys.

We were also able to squeeze in a visit with Claire. She is living in a beautiful new place and it was great to be able to see it. It was even more lovely to see Claire. I am sure it is just as strange for her as it is for me to see how much life has changed in the ten years we have known each other. Weren't we just eating lunch in a rat infested locker room, dreading volleyball off-season?

People keep asking what our plans are for New Years eve, my response is just laughter because that is a joke, right? There will be no fancy dress for me to wear or exciting place to go this year. But I am pretty sure I will be right where I want to be, snuggled on the couch with Will, crossing our fingers that our baby love won't wake, and crawl into bed around ten o clock.

grandmother came to town

My mom came into town last week to visit her up all night granddaughter. We really enjoyed our visit with her, but I am not sure how relaxing it was for her. The first night the air mattress deflated and she ended up sleeping on the floor. Then the following nights she was woken up by our needy dog's constant licking.



We went out to sushi one of the nights. I wore my new glasses that I ordered from a company called Warby Parker. They cut out the cost of the middle man in prescription glasses, so they were only $99. They also give a pair for every pair purchased, much like Toms. They are super trendy, but for a third of the cost, I can justify them. My mom also fed Madison 9 ounces of milk, an amount she has never had. We were all eager to see how the night would go, turns out the number of times she wakes up is equivalent to how many ounces she consumes, fail.




Another hopeful endeavor to get her to sleep more, introduction of food, fail again. She slept so horribly. We think food has shocked her intestinal system and we are paying for it big time at night. We are holding off on the food for a bit, despite how much she enjoys it. She took to eating like a natural (Will says that is because eating is natural). The only real mess was when I would accidentally brush the spoon on her bib, girlfriend swallowed every last bit of that avocado.

One of our few adventures out of the house, was to the Denver Botanic Gardens for a Christmas light stroll. Madison stayed awake the entire time taking in all of the beautiful lights. She cried all the way home because it was an hour past her bedtime, but at least she was well behaved while in public.

Now, we are just resting up for our big trip to Texas on Thursday. We are going to assume she will refuse to sleep and then be pleasantly surprised if she decides to sleep longer than 30 minutes at a time. I am loving getting to celebrate Christmas with Madison.

five months

Five months just seems so old. It is almost six months, which is almost a year, which is almost eighteen. Hopefully, at some point soon I will come to better grips with how fast time is passing by. But for right now, I am still in shock time has past since July.

- Baby girl is no longer a sedentary blob. Everything from changing a diaper to eating is similar to unhooking a cat fish from a fishing pole. You best make sure you have a firm grip on her or she will wiggle herself right out of your arms. If I put her on the floor, I will come back to her facing the opposite direction.

- She is a grabbing fool. Nothing is safe within her reach. I have come in to check on her from a nap and she has unswaddled herself and pulled the blanket into her mouth. She is a great glasses grabber, aspen hair puller, bottle holder, pacifier picker uper, you get the idea. She is actually coordinated now, which is amazing to watch develop. She has also started reaching for me with both arms out straight, so great.

- She had her first taste of solid foods. I decided to skip rice cereal and go straight to the good stuff. Like avocado and bananas. Will thinks that it has messed up her sleep, but I mean she was not a champion sleeper before, so who knows. We are not feeding her a "meal" everyday, just few bites here and there. She is beyond excited for food though, which might break my heart a little bit.

- She always has a wide open mouth. It is hilarious that is the way she expresses herself. I tell her that it is a good thing we do not have flies in our home.

- We are still always being told how alert she is. This is the one comment that we have received since she was born. Everyone asks how old she is and then immediately replies, "oh, really, she is just so alert, I can not believe she is that young."

- She sleeps, just not exactly at the times I would like her to. She has been a mess the past two weeks at night. I try and follow everything the "books" say, but every baby is different, right?

- She has been left twice with non family member babysitters. She did wonderfully, except one of the times where she stayed up until ten, ha.

- She is very social and loves to be around people. She is usually always well behaved if we are out and about. She is mesmerized by all the new sounds and faces. She always makes eye contact if someone new approaches her to get a look.

This month has been really great. I have loved how many times just Will and I could get out with out Madison. It is such a freeing feeling to know I do not always have to be the one to take care of her.

She has been very entertaining with her constant learning and how fast her abilities are developing. I am thankful I get the opportunity to watch it all unfold.

Here are the outtakes. She apparently was not feeling very creative and stuck with the legs in the air pose.

another catch all

Our adventure to the Denver Art Museum. Madison explored with her mouth. I just focused on how strong her immune system will be after being exposed to so many germs. I had really wanted to back out and just let Will take Madison, but I decided that sleep can happen some other time and to make some memories with my family.

Just some pictures in our down time. Madison focusing on her toes and Aspen making sure I give her just as much attention.

This our wee little Christmas tree. Having a baby changes things and there was not going to be any forest excursions to chop down our own. So we did the next best thing and pushed our jogging stroller to Whole Foods. I did carry it back to our apartment myself, through the Target parking lot, past Gap, around the movie theater, and up our stairs, so it was pretty much like I braved the wilderness.

My mom has been in town these past couple of days, so I will many more pictures to share. Like my super duper trendy glasses that came in the mail and Madison having her first meal of avocado.

videos of Madison

The quality is probably not that great, but hopefully they will give you a glimpse into our little girl's personality. I know that photographs only go so far, but now you can hear her little (ok, loud) noises.

her five second trick

My wee little nugget is now strong enough to support that noggin of hers, for a few seconds at a time. She will be sitting up all on her own in no time. While I am happy she is getting so strong, I do not want to be too anxious for what comes next (except for maybe the sleeping through the night thing).

date night

(Oh, silly Madison, the camera is not on dad's belt buckle or at the tip of your toes.)

(yes, I did change the color of my hair. It should wash out after 28 days. I also do not know why I am posing in a, I am about to do some lunges, pose. I must be watching too many episodes of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Training Camp.)

Madison had her first non-family member watch her last night. I do not think she had any issues because when we were walking out the door she was squawking and grabbing our friend's face with both hands (her way of showing affection).

I had bought a groupon for a restaurant downtown and we headed out in the snow for some alone time. Everything was wonderful except I was freezing the entire time and never took off my unflattering, puffy jacket.

Amazingly enough we have a lot to talk about still, discussions that do not always include our little baby. Topics that range from Tim Tebow, marriage equality (or whatever the pc term is), group of six business men seated behind us, you know, the usual.

I think the discussion that stood out most in my mind, happened to be about parenthood. Several of our friends have found someone they intend on marrying and most likely have children with. So I asked Will what his words of wisdom would be about fatherhood to some of his friends and pretty much asked myself the same question about motherhood. Will said, "It is a lot of fun. I could try and get her to smile all day long. I can not think of anything else I would be ok doing all day long. Even the few inconveniences do not come close to outweighing the positive things of being a father. And the love you get to experience is unlike anything else." (So I do not remember word for word what he said, but this is pretty much the gist) Pretty sweet, huh??

I think my natural tendency is to explain motherhood as, "it is all worth it." But, what exactly makes it worth it, her smile, her giggles, all the things she is learning? Are those enough reasons to have a child? I think the biggest thing that makes the continual self-sacrifice worth it, is getting to experience life in a way I never would have if I had not become a mother. All of a sudden, I have this view of the world, my life, my parents, my God, my husband, that can only be attributed to having Madison. I have emotions I did not know existed; emotions that cause me to truly grasp the tragedy of losing a child, emotions that overwhelm me when I think of having a front row seat to someone's life unfolding, emotions that allow me to finally enjoy the moment and realize how fleeting time actually is. Being a mother is continually refining me. I will learn lessons that would otherwise go untaught if it had not been for Madison.

So, I am not sure I should be a spokesperson for the power of mothering, because I just re-read my paragraph and it pretty much says, "become a mother, become an emotional basket case."

Just know that, by becoming a wife and now a mother, a whole new world has opened up. A world I would have never known existed if I did not get to experience it first hand. Plus, it is a lot of fun, like what Will said.

Hopefully this weekend will entail visiting Santa, getting a tree, and being full of Holiday cheer.