holy moly

Look at the difference three months makes!

The middle picture is of me pacing the lobby of the hospital for two hours the day before Madison was born.

The other two were of me right before I went out last night to meet some moms for wine and pizza. (Will said I needed to work on my posing, so these are my best efforts)

I never posted these last pregnancy photos because I was a bit bothered by how swollen and huge I looked. Now, looking back, I feel I can laugh about it. My body clearly needed to gain all that weight, despite my best efforts to slow the gain down. And now my body is shedding that weight.

I was overly concerned with the weight and the change in my body during pregnancy. But now that I am on the other side of things, I have a much better perspective. My body was a vessel in which Madison was formed. Where her perfect little, smelly fingers grew. Where her personality developed and all her unique qualities were formed; every miniscule detail originated inside of me. And now my body is working extremely hard to keep her alive. To give her all the nutrients she needs in order to grow her double chins and arm rolls. Simply amazing.

Even though there are parts of my body that do not at all look the same, I am surprisingly ok with that. I am impressed at the progress my body has made. I can feel slight abdominal muscles beginning to develop again. I can hold Madison for long periods of time. I am able to run for longer than five minutes. I can carry a 20 pound carseat and drag a 90 pound dog up two flights of stairs.

I am thankful that this change has occurred in me. I want Madison to see me taking pride in what my body can physically do instead of what number is on the scale. I want her to know that her body is wonderful and uniquely made to fit her.

My views on certain things have changed since having Madison. One of those views is my take on God's love for us. I look at Madison and see perfection. I can not even imagine how much that feeling is magnified when God looks at us. If Madison was to ever think anything negative about herself, my heart would break. I am sure that is how God's heart breaks whenever I think negative thoughts about myself. We are ultimately the result of God's handy work and to insult that in anyway has got to be devastating for him.

I am sure I could write pages on how much I have changed in these last three months (like, how I can now cry about almost anything, commercials, songs, ball games (my heart just breaks whenever batters are slamming the pitcher's throws), news stories, seriously anything, it is ridiculous)

Well, baby is grunting and a smile is waiting for me, so I must go.

Madison's First Snow

We are quickly realizing there are a few vital pieces of clothing missing from Madison's wardrobe. Like a coat, shoes, gloves, clothes that are made of something other than cotton, you know, basic items to prevent frost bite when she insists on building snow men and making snow angels. So yesterday, when it snowed all day, the only item would could find, was one that should fit her in three months. She was a little confused where her hands had gone, but seemed pretty content all snuggled up in this outfit, or she was too scared to move for fear she might be swallowed whole.

The little lady is doing really well. The cloudy days make for stellar naps. She will be getting some one on one daddy time tonight when I go out for wine and pizza with the moms from the new parents group we joined at church.

Maybe I am not doing such a bad job...

Will sent me this article about babies and the way children learn. The part that stood out the most to me was this quote,

"Very young children learn best from their everyday experiences of people and things, and from being able to playfully explore the world in a safe setting with people who love and care for them."

I sometimes get caught up in wondering if I am doing enough to stimulate Madison. Am I encouraging her development enough, and on and on. You may have noticed she never has any sort of toys or children things around her, that is because we do not have any yet. This is mostly due to how much I despise clutter, but either way, our toys are her toys. It is reassuring to me that all of those plastic toys are not necessary for Madison to thrive. I feel confident in our ability to give Madison a loving environment where she can playfully explore.

[http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/23/opinion/gopnik-ted-children-learning/index.html?&hpt=hp_c2]

Our Weekend

1. We went walking on Saturday night and got cornered by two older women. They thought that Madison was the most adorable thing and insisted they take a picture of us. Luckily, I had my camera in tow. If I notice that any one, especially older individuals, are trying to look at Madison, I try to make sure they get a chance to really look at her. Babies seem to bring people such joy and I love being able to give them that.

2. Another attempt to get Madison to smile. As soon as that camera comes out she is all business. Luckily, she did not spit up on me this time. There have been more than a few times where when I lift her up like this, she spews right into my mouth.

3. I am not sure I will ever have a decent photo with Madison, but I will keep trying.

4. Madison clearly enjoyed church. The message really touched her.

5. On Friday, we went to a little pizza place that sells personal sized pizzas. It was delicious. I am pretty sure I could have eaten two. I am always impressed with the odd combinations that go on pizza, but still taste amazing. Like barbeque sauce, pineapples, chicken, and bacon, who would have thought?

[Not pictured: We went on a five mile run around this lake a couple miles from our home. It was a beautiful day with great views of the fall colors and mountains. Madison only fussed the last couple of minutes, but she did have a huge dirty diaper, so I guess that is excusable. Also, due to a miss understanding (I went to use the bathroom, swore I told him I will be right back, he obviously had not heard me...), Will drove off with out me and left me stranded at the lake. Luckily, I used the age old advice of staying in one place whenever lost, and he eventually came back for me.]

Waiting for 5pm

This Friday seemed to drag on. Maybe it was because I knew that Will was going to take Madison and Aspen hiking today, and I was anxious for some time alone. Either way, I had to get a bit creative with our time together. I decided we would take part in more tummy time and see what Madison's reaction would be if she was in front of a mirror. (This mirror will eventually be hung, but tasks seem to stay on the "to-do" list much longer with a baby) She loved looking at her self. She lifted up her head better than I have ever seen. Funny, the things I take pride in now. I did some sit ups next to her and Aspen decided to join the party. Madison also decided to keep rolling onto her back, very impressive, but not conducive to picture taking.

Just a few more pictures of Madison. Lately, she has really wanted to sit up on her own. You can not really tell, by she is lifted off of my knees and holding herself up. The picture of just her face is her leaning so far forward she is almost face planting into the camera.

And the day to myself was pretty great. I took a nap, but unfortunately, kept "hearing" Madison and waking up. I felt like I was doing something terribly wrong by sleeping through her crying and I would wake up in a panic. So I guess you can take the baby from her mom but not the mom from the baby, or something like that.

My View

I thought I could capture a few pictures of Madison staring wide eyed at me when I am feeding her. The little stinker knew exactly what I was up to and kept focusing on the camera. The final shot, she decided to just reach up and give me the hand. Like, "Mom, I am trying to eat here." I am so thankful for all these sweet moments I get to spend focused solely on Madison and her on me. Nothing beats having those baby blues fixating on me.

One Year Ago

I was recovering from running a marathon.

We spent nine long months training and finally were able to complete something we had worked so hard for. I remember thinking that we could have had a baby in the same amount of time it took to train, well, one year later, look what we did.




We spent some quality time with the baby that took nine months to make. I feel like running a marathon and having a baby are pretty high up on the list of accomplishments. I am not sure I will ever be able to top them, unless of course I run another marathon and have another baby.

I am so thankful I had Will as my partner through all of this. Life would just not be as fulfilling if I did not have him to share these moments with.

This past weekend, we drove an hour to a pumpkin patch, only to discover, the entire freeway was stalled with eager pumpkin pickers. Feeling just a tad discouraged, we headed to Boulder instead. We got to people watch, drink some coffee, and drool at all the Patagonia clothing we will never be able to afford. Baby girl was a rockstar. She slept the entire time and when she woke up in the coffee shop, she was a showstopper. Everyone loves babies. Especially babies in Gap skinny jeans.

Just a little side note, those jeans I have on, are the same ones I wore the day before I ran the marathon. I am not able to run more than 45 minutes at a time, but at least I am slowly getting my wardrobe back. So just in case you happen to gain fifty pounds during pregnancy and end up weighing more than your husband, there is hope. (not saying that I did that or anything...)