one month

Eliza is one month today. 

The first three months always amaze me at how fast they actually go by when every day seems like it might carry on forever. The days sort of blend into one and I struggle to recall what we spent our time doing. Yet, I know that we will look back at this time with great fondness. There is just something so rewarding about making it through hard times. I know that our current hard times are a far cry from some, but we are still having to work through a season that pulls and stretches us. This newborn stage can really make or break a couple. We argue the most during the middle of the night shenanigans. I think we just have keep remembering that we are working through this together and the rewards of raising these little ones far outweigh the sleeplessness. 

All this to say, Eliza has been not the happiest baby this month. She has had some intense stomach/gas issues and will scream in pain for quite some time. We went to the doctor last week and she was prescribed an acid reflux medicine and I was told to cut out all dairy and soy from my diet. I have had a difficult time with how much stuff we are giving our wee little baby, from gas drops to prescription medicine, but I just keep hoping none of it causes more problems than she has now. We will know next week if me eliminating dairy is making a difference, I sure hope it is so she can stop taking the prescription medicine. This has been the most challenging part of having two kids or really any kid, constant crying. Eliza does not want to be put down if she is awake and so I get a bit of anxiety when she is awake because I know she will be crying. I think that she is getting a bit better because she has had more moments where she is awake and content. 

Even through the struggle of her crying, I can feel that every day I become a bit more attached to her. I get to know her more every day and my love for her increases constantly. For me, it takes a while to fall in love with my children, I mean they are strangers. The desire to protect them and shield them from harm comes immediately, but the deep, gooey love takes time. 

I am just so thankful I get to raise these girls with alongside Will and I am glad we all have each other. I am excited to see how Eliza's personality fits in with ours and how are family will grow together. 

Some highlights from Eliza's first month:

* She still has dark hair. She has dark eyelashes and eyebrows. I can already see the blonde hair growing in, just like with Madison, so I know it will change eventually. She still has blue eyes, but those may or may not change.

* She weighs 9 lbs 2 oz as of last Friday. Which means she is gaining weight quickly and has the rolls to show for it. It is amazing to see how she has filled out since birth. 

* She still has dimples. It will be great when she is smiling to capture them on camera. 

* She sticks her toes straight up when she eats.

* Her hands are almost always open, this kind of reveals to me that she might be more laid back than Madison despite the crying. 

* She will only nurse when she is hungry. She makes it very clear when she is done and when she does not want any food. She is strictly business when it comes to nursing. 

* She loves taking baths with me. Her entire body relaxes when I have her float in the water.

* She loves being in the carrier and would be content if I held her all day, which I have on several occasions. 

* She is still sleeping in our room. I think sharing a room with the sister will still be a while. 

* She parties from 2 am and 4 am most nights. This is when her tummy troubles kick in and she can not get comfortable to stay asleep. This is also when the exhausted fights occur between Will and me, ha. But we are getting through it, one night at a time. 

We find ourselves continually saying, it will get better, it will get better. While I know that this is true, I also don't want to be wasting our time hoping for better days. These days are pretty darn good, they are just a bit more difficult than normal. And when we have two children sleeping through the night, we will look back and wonder where our babies went. 

So happy one month Eliza, I am so thrilled you decided to join our family.