treasures in the darkness

I have been pretty open about my daughter's sleep habits. 

It seems that when one area improves (like how quickly she falls asleep) another digresses (like how often she wakes). Her new theme since we came back from Hawaii has been waking up for the day anywhere between 4:30 am to 5:30 am. We have now gotten to the point that if she sleeps until 6:30 am, we rejoice. 

Today she decided 4:30 was her wake up time. This was magnified by the fact that Will is out of town. I have never dealt with Madison completely on my own before. Even though Will only really assists in about two hours of the day, those two hours go along way. Especially when they are in morning and I can sleep just a wee bit longer. 

Anyway, there was no one to help this morning. I thought I had mentally prepared for the possibility of her waking this early, but I still got incredibly frustrated. 

My immediate reaction is what the heck is wrong with our child? Why must she be such a difficult sleeper? What are we doing that is causing her to refuse sleep?

I let my frustration get the best of me more times than not. I get so caught up in feeling tired, worn-out, alone, etc, that I forget she has been a live a mere 11 months. 

Because I believe that God desires us to turn to him for everything and he gives me the strength and sanity when I have none. I have spent a good chunk of her morning nap reading about Him. 

" I will give you the treasures of darkness, 

riches stored in secret places, 

so that you may know that I am the Lord,

 the God of Israel, who summons you by name."
Isaiah 45: 3

I do not think it is a coincidence that my biggest struggle in parenthood happens in the darkness. But, apparently, there are treasures in that darkness I have been overlooking.

I know I will still ask God to give me those treasures when I am sound asleep dreaming at 4:30 in the morning, but hopefully, I will try to remember that God is still at work through the sleeplessness.